Full Circle

As a creative, a solopreneur, someone trying to desparately make this side hustle work- there’s been one constant throughout it all: single handedly doing it all.

Then I got pregnant & everything changed. My motivation & creativity sucked dry, most days it was hard to pry myself from the couch, the slightest frustration led to a waterfall of tears, emotions on edge & not much room, desire or energy for running a business.

I felt trapped. Like this was the way it would be from here on out. Like the world as I knew it was over. The creative energy & sense of productivity I thrived under was ripped out from underneath me like a cartoon where the server snags the tablecloth from beneath the place settings. Except every glass & plate came crashing with it instead of neatly staying in place.

I spent the better part of the last year feeling like the parts of me that I liked best were being removed in order to create a new human that I didn’t know how I’d be able to love more than my dog. It was the hardest thing I had ever experienced. (Not to mention being pregnant in a pandemic... More thoughts on that here)

Until birth day. Enter the newest version of the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And also the cheesiest thing I’ve ever said when I admit that it was a birth day for me, too. Finally the unexplainable became a reality rather than something that every mom had fallen short of explaining. Perhaps because it is truly unexplainable.

And this week it came full circle as I strapped my daughter into a carrier & walked upstairs to my workspace where she fell asleep on my chest while I worked on a new design I had scribbled on a piece of scratch paper. And even though she wasn’t watching (+ wouldn’t care even if she was) I was able to share one of the things that matters most to me with the newest human that matters most to me.

Not only was creativity flowing again, but I had someone to share it with. I was no longer flying solo through the messy process of making & no longer wondered where the pieces of me went missing because now they’re right in front of me. I was sharing my first baby (my business) with my first baby (actual first born child).

As it turns out, some of the ways I thought it would be from here on out haven’t changed. I’m still a waterfall of tears with emotions on edge. But now it’s for the better instead of the worst & it’s still completely unexplainable.

5 Steps Towards Changing The World

Looking ahead to dream up new goals means looking at the past to see how we’ve gotten to where we are now, and so far a huge part of my practice has been sharing my story as I go. Thinking about where I was 10 or 15 years ago compared to where I am now, a lot has changed. Not only creatively, or business-wise, but also being more conscious about habits and daily routines. It’s been a slow roll getting here, and there’s still a long way to go, but it’s made me think about the process that has gotten me to this point & I’ve broken it down into 5 steps towards changing the world.

This can be interpreted in any way you please, but my focus is sustainability-related. From changing your mindset to taking action and making small changes all along the way. Because I truly believe that if we each did something little here & there that it adds up far quicker than 1 person attempting to completely rid of their carbon footprint.

Please know that as each item organically came to mind that a slightly inappropriate acronym started to come to fruition. However, I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth because anatomy references will always be funny when it comes to butts, boobs, poops & farts. I refuse to change my mind or grow up in this regard & I also refuse to disclose where I was located when this all came to culmination, but will say that it happened in a place where I do some of my best thinking + consequently is hard to write things down.

It’s easy to remember when it spells out AREOLAS.

(Nope. Definitely don't have breastfeeding on the mind.)

Awareness

Research

Explore Options

Look for Alternatives

Share

1. Awareness

I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again. That just consciously opening your eyes to what’s happening around you instead of staying sucked into your routine is a game changer & the first step towards making any sort of change. That’s the beauty of it, too- that in order to get started you literally don’t have to do anything. Except be aware I guess.

Open your eyes to your own habits, what’s available at your fingertips, what you’re reaching for on the regular & where there’s room for change.

From my own experience it was becoming aware of the amount of excess packaging, the amount of stuff I was throwing away, my own consumerism & the number of things I was acquiring. Becoming conscious of all these things made me do a double take. If everyone else was acting in a similar fashion to me- where is all this junk ending up when we no longer need it?

2. Research

Not asking for an essay on your findings, just suggesting a little Googling here & there, asking a friend for their opinion, following your favorite zero waste guru on Instagram or picking the brain of the girl who owns the bulk store (props to Kendra from Ren Market for answering my millions of questions!).

Once you’ve realized what changes can be made, it’s easy to dive into the world of brands labeled with tag lines like, “eco-friendly”, “sustainable”, “green” this & that, or “made from recycled materials”. As it’s becoming trendier & feel good-ier to jump on the bandwagon towards sustainability brands will slap on these “green washing” techniques to grab your attention. Meanwhile, they’re not really that green after all. I mean, can you really expect a $20 tshirt from H&M to really belong in a “Conscious Collection”?

As far as technology has come, clothes are still made by people. Actual people using technologically advanced machines, but still actual people cutting, sewing, etc. & how the heck a garment can go from raw materials to something you put on your back for $20 retail blows my mind. Unless, of course, those actual people aren’t being paid fairly. Which is perhaps more of a ethical issue than sustainability in a sense, but surely not creating a sustainable lifestyle for these actual people. It’s all connected.

The spark notes: do a little digging before you start jumping in.

3. Explore Options

Exploring your options is all about looking around at what you already own. Seeking out what you already have at your fingertips instead of starting completely from scratch.

This means looking at everything in a new angle. As we started turning our spare bedroom in to a nursery I had a vision of all the new furniture I wanted to outfit it with. But before biting the bullet, I went “shopping” in my workspace & found several pieces that I already owned that would fit in just as well. I scoured thrift stores, Facebook Marketplace & asked friends for hand-me-downs rather than starting fresh with everything new.

AKA- get creative. Wash out the empty spaghetti jar from last night’s dinner & use it to hold your homemade dishwasher detergent or flip over an old metal basket for use as a plant stand. Instead of seeing an item at face value, see it for its materials & be open to using it in a completely new way.

4. Look for Alternatives

Sometimes there’s no way around it, you’ve gotta source something new. Now’s the time to look for alternative elsewhere. And when doing so, keep the previous bullet points in mind. Source secondhand when possible, do your research to find out the intentions behind the companies you’re purchasing from & to see if the item is truly as “green” as it’s claiming to be.

Fun fact: bamboo gets a good rep for being a sustainable material, but it’s really only as good as it claims when it’s in certain forms. Bamboo flooring? Great! Bamboo clothing? Not so great. The tough material requires a lot of chemicals to turn it into something soft, breathable & wearable. However clothing & diaper companies go on and on about their plant-based materials even though they’re practicing just as much harm as good.

So basically, look for options you already own & when all else fails, find new alternative elsewhere.

5. Share

I added this last step with a little trepidation. No one likes a bragger, so when I say, “share,” I mean share with intention. Share in a way that feels natural to you without judging or preaching. Share through your actions & share your opinions when you feel called to or asked. Share your knowledge or alternatives with love rather than inducing fear (we’ve already got enough of that going around).

Sharing your findings & alternatives can create a ripple effect which spreads the movement.

MOST IMPORATNTLY- and I’ll shout this from the rooftops- it’s about progress, NOT PERFECTION. Give yourself grace & practice making one small change at a time rather than everything at once. Use the 5 steps for each of those small changes, one at a time.

In Case You Were Wondering... Here's What Our Nursery Looks Like

Well friends, the truth is a basically quit my job in order to do all things baby-related. And while I realize not everyone has this privilege, I guess it’s a perk of owning your own business, temporarily losing who you are & attempting to still feel human in the process 🤷‍♀️. And being as adorning everything in sight with tassels & pom poms is typically part of my job description anyway, I just pivoted for a few weeks (cough, months) to accommodate to the new changes!

And since I feel the need to share what I'm working on & this is what I've been working on... HERE WE ARE!

For those who have asked about a theme, I feel the only logical answer is, "Carli having a baby." It's basically as if my brain exploded in room form.

It all started with a mood board, because I take all things aesthetically pleasing very seriously. Read: browsing Pinterest while sleepily & nauseously laying on the couch was one of my favorite past times for quite awhile. So is organizing beautiful photos in a Photoshop canvas.

This then led to stalking Facebook Marketplace for furniture- another great couch potato pastime. Pom poms are also a great activity on the couch, FYI!

We scored a hand-me-down crib from my BFF & watching her + my sister try to re-assemble it with no directions was particularly entertaining (handy man husband to the rescue who properly put it together)! Most everything else pictured were odds & ends repurposed from my creative space, built by said handy man husband or whipped up by yours truly once the couch phase finally subsided.

Mobile was inspired by Pinterest discoveries & the lamp was a result of a thrifty find from several years ago. My original intention was to weave strips of leather through the metal bars but 1. I never got around to it & 2. once I realized pom poms would fit inside all other bets were off.

Chair & shelf (+ a few other odds & ends) were purchased new in part because a Facebook Marketplace deal fell through or I just grew tired of waiting for the right thing to come along secondhand. A few other pieces were gifted all while encouraging friends & family to consider hand-me-downs being as we’re some of the last in our circle yet to have children.

Fell in love with the bright colors of this vintage map & knew it had to find a place in this room. The bonus? Zoom calls made it look like I was located in a classroom while my makeshift office held residency at the same time that this was our spare bedroom.

Guilty as charged when it comes to arranging books by color. The Home Edit swears it's easier for kids to put them away this way, so I blame them for any judgement you throw my way.

Fun fact: store bought curtains are usually really ugly. So is most readily available home decor fabric. Like, WHYYYYY? Thank goodness for Spoonflower & that 4 year Apparel Design degree which has allowed me the skills to make my own! Repurposed our old, falling apart curtains as a liner so they're super blackout-y.

Needed a basket, made that lumpy one out of extra macrame cord left over from our wedding backdrop. It was therapeutic with a learning curve & took kind of a long time + lots of thread. Topped it off with leather handles & here she lives, filled with plush toys.

One last fun fact: my sister & I gifted each other these children's sized guitars for Christmas a few years back in hopes that we would learn to play. We each learned like chords & then gave up. However, I've toted mine to the hospital TWICE to play her kids "Happy Birthday" on the day they were born.

That's it, friends! Now onward to scour Pinterest for how to fold & care for cloth diapers + how the heck to wrap a baby carrier sling. Wish me luck!