"HOW ARE YOU FEELING?"

Pretend it’s post-pandemic. You’re going on vacation & packing your suitcase. Halfway to the airport & the impending doom sinks in-

You forgot something.

You don’t know what it is because you triple checked that there’s enough underwear to survive the unlikely chance of daily food poisoning & you’re positive that you slid your toothbrush in the front pocket after your morning routine. You reassure yourself that whatever it is you can buy when you get there, but the thought still lingers in your mind the entire journey.

As of late, this is how my brain feels minus the suitcase, vacation & food poisoning.

I’ve spent most of my pregnancy feeling like the pieces of me that I identify most with were stolen. My motivation, desire, creativity all robbed as this shell of a human who typically thrives off of productivity + creating spent most days barely being able to get off the couch. It made me take a deeper look at where I find my worth when every place I had put it previously was wiped away.

It made me realize that there are more important things than crossing tasks off a to do list, feeling busy & beating myself up to accomplish big goals. But most importantly- that those things don’t dictate my value as a human. All realizations that I’m thankful to have discovered & even more thankful for the timing of their discovery. A majority of the way through, & I’m finally starting to feel the way I thought I’d feel throughout this whole process. Grateful, excited, rockin’ the bump & maybe even a little glow-y?

Must not be detectable through a computer screen though, because no one has complimented me on the sort via Zoom & I haven't been in public enough (#thankscovid) to receive advice or half-hearted compliments from complete strangers. A connection I thought I was missing out on until a dear friend reminded me that NOT interacting with unknown humans means not having to craft a true, yet socially acceptable answer to, "How are you feeling?" And although I've denied my instinct to disclaim or justify most other things in this text, I will say that I APPRECIATE every single person who has asked me that question because it shows that you care even if my snarky reply goes unappreciated. I know that you mean well, & just like me, I'm guessing that you had the same preconceived (pun not intended) notion that this time of life tends to be something fairytales are made of.

So KEEP ASKING. Just don’t be shocked when you receive an answer like, “Physically? Good. Emotionally? A mess.”

Throughout this journey I’ve been careful about what I say for fear of offending or more likely fear of bombarding friends sans children with boring pregnant lady woes. But not sharing this may be what’s missing from my proverbial suitcase.

So here I am saying it in case someone else needs to hear it. That not enjoying pregnancy doesn’t make you a horrible human or a terrible mom. And that maybe this process (good, bad or indifferent) can teach us more than we ever expected.

I’ve heard stories of loss, heartache, euphoria & pure bliss, but never the struggle of everything going “right.” I had never heard the term “pre-natal depression” & of course imagined my world to be turned upside down post-baby, but not beforehand (besides the possibility-turned-reality of my head in a toilet for an extended period of time).

Perhaps one day I’ll forget about all these feelings when I’m in the midst of what everyone has tried to describe as the bliss that comes with parenthood, but at the moment all I have to compare it to is owning a dog that I love so much it’s stupid. Besides, at present there’s still a tinge of looming fear of how life is about to change & it stops me from enjoying the freedom I have now to its full extent. A freedom I am well aware I’ve taken advantage of since forever.

Regardless, I’m thankful for finding a silvering lining & oh so grateful for the friends who’ve kept it real, shared the hard shit & made me not feel so alone in this.

If YOU have a similar story, I'd love to hear it.

8 Reduce, Reuse, Recycle Hacks Around the Home & Beyond

Let me first preface this post by saying that I am just an average girl who enjoys drinking a gas station fountain soda out of an extra wide plastic straw, finds ease in storing food items in single use zip top bags & could easily consume potato chips with every single meal.

This is all to say that opening my eyes to all the ways I’ve been wasteful (multiplied by the amount of other people making the same choices daily) made me look at these habits (+ more) a little differently. With time I’ve either weened myself away from some of my most habitual conveniences or found a more eco-friendly alternative instead.

And that’s not to say that I don’t occasionally reach for a Ziploc bag, or purchase something in an aerosol can, that I know everything, or that I make the right choice every time. But I am far more intentional about my decisions & am a firm believer that if we all make a few small changes, that they add up to make a big impact.

That being said, here are a few simple hacks I’ve honed in on over the past year or so. I’m sharing in hopes that you may find inspiration or consider adopting one or two into your everyday life.

1. Awareness

In my opinion, this is the easiest step. Perhaps also the most crucial. And it doesn’t actually require you to do anything(!) except for adjusting your perspective.

Open your eyes to notice your habits or tendencies & what is possible to change. Ask questions or do your own research to look for alternatives & find out of those alternatives are actually useful or just greenwashing wordage to make it sound better than it actually is.

If you paused here & didn’t bother with anything else I’d consider it a victory.

2. Consider the packaging

It’s not only the things we consume that constitutes considering, but the stuff it’s packed in as well.

Does your grocery store individually wrap heads of lettuce or shucked corn in plastic wrap + Styrofoam? Perhaps there’s another alternative. I recently reached for the pasta sauce in the glass jar over plastic because it has a better chance of getting recycled or I can reuse it to store craft supplies or turn it into a soap dispenser with a handy dandy hand pump.

Some of my favorite brands are notorious for encasing things in a layer of hard plastic making them oh so appealing on the shelf, but oh so wasteful at the same time. It makes me wonder why we put so much product worth on the very thing that we’re just going to throw out when we get home (or get in the car).

3. Wash your shower curtain liner instead of replacing it

Label this amongst the things that keep me awake at night/I Googled at 3am one morning.

Yes, they’re cheap enough that it’s tempting to just buy a new one. But throw it in the wash with some bleach & white towels to prevent throwing away a giant piece of plastic. Here’s the recipe I used that worked like a charm:

via today.com

4. Make your own supplies

Did you know- some dishwasher & laundry detergents come in bottles that cannot be recycled curbside?

Starting last year, we’ve attempted to make our own dishwasher detergent. All the supplies come in recyclable receptacles. Here’s a simple recipe my bestie handed down:

5. Start a compost pile

After scouring Facebook Marketplace & passing a free one on the side of the road, turning around only to realize it was gone, I convinced my handy husband to build us a compost bin. I thrifted a container that sits in our kitchen to collect egg shells, coffee grounds & veggie scraps which eventually get thrown into the compost pile. Now vacuumed up pet hair + dust & the occasional q-tip decompose in our backyard rather than taking up space in our garbage can.

We’ll eventually use the compost to create a garden to start growing our own veggies & continue the circle.

If you don’t have a yard or the space, check to see if there’s a local community garden nearby. Some recycling facilities also take compost! Store in compostable bags & toss in your extra chest freezer until you’re ready to make a trip.

6. Really embracing reusable or refusing disposable

It’s just one plastic bag, right? Multiply that by every weekly grocery trip or Target run, then multiply that by the amount of other humans justifying that, “it’s just one bag.” It’s a lot of bags.

In theory, they can be recycled at a drop off spot for film plastics, but like other plastic recyclables, not everything actually gets recycled. Here are a few alternatives for single use plastics that might fit with your lifestyle:

a. Keep a foldable reusable bag in your purse or car for spontaneous trips

b. Invest in cotton mesh produce bags

c. Use a metal or bamboo straw or try sipping your iced coffee or fountain soda straight from the cup

d. Politely decline the plastic fork when (let’s be real) you know you’re just going to dig in with your hands.

7. Buy in bulk when possible

Bulk stores & zero waste markets are popping up in big cities & Duluth is lucky to be home to Ren Market who provides our community with package-free alternatives & fill-your-own-jar household supplies/necessities.

Using a container that already exists in the world to replace a plastic tube of lotion that will ultimately be thrown away is basically the equivalent of hugging an actual tree. AND JUST MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.

8. Consider secondhand

Sure, it’s less sexy, takes longer to scout out & you may not find exactly what you had in mind, but sourcing secondhand lessens the demand for producing more stuff.

Every time you purchase something new you’re voting with your dollars, telling companies what you want more of. Choosing an item with life left to live not only saves it from a landfill, but prevents the resources & energy needed to create it from scratch.

It bears saying again, action is key, not perfection. Sometimes I forget my reusable bag, occasionally my impatience or procrastination kicks in & results in an emergency Amazon order, once in awhile I crave a vanilla McDonald’s milkshake & use the damn straw provided. What’s important is all the small steps that add up when we all make a conscious effort to make a change. The little efforts help balance out the bad habits even though we can’t always see it.

I’d love to hear what changes you’ve made, what you plan to initiate this year & where you’re inspired to make a difference!

HOW TO THROW ONE HELLUVA VIRTUAL PARTY

Just because we're all currently isolated doesn't mean births, birthdays, anniversaries & other celebrations are on hold. Now more than ever, we've got the time to GO ALL OUT. But not necessarily the supplies on hand.

So it's TIME TO GET CREATIVE.

Birthdays aren't typically a huge deal in our household, but the other day I woke up like a kid on Christmas. The night before I baked a cake (funfetti of course), decorated our dining room (AKA hung a shiz ton of tassels on our kitchen table) & a couple weeks before sent out invites & goody bags to a few gal pals & I couldn't freaking wait to virtually celebrate.

By sharing this, my hope is that it inspires you to make a big deal out of the next event you're not able to physically be at. Here's how it went down:

First things first- a little behind the scenes planning: where do you want to celebrate?

There are tons of free downloadable apps to connect with friends through a screen. Most notably & easy to use- Zoom, Google Hangouts & the route we ultimately decided to use: Houseparty! It's a video chat app that also doubles as a place to play games.

Pictionary, Heads Up, trivia, a modern version of Apples to Apples are a few of the choices. Afterwards, a few of the girls mentioned it felt like we were really all together in the same room playing games like we usually do!

Explore a few different apps & see what will work best for you & your guests.

Speaking of guests- TIME TO INVITE THEM! This can be as simple as a text or an email informing friends/family of the date & time you want to party, or you can go big & mail participants a few supplies they'll need to par-tay.

PRO TIP: if you're planning on celebrating with locals, coordinate a drop off/pick up/zero contact situation to get these to your "guests"!

I wanted to include my favorite celebratory essentials:

Cake (made it easier with this make-it-in-a-mug version)

Drinks (a mini bottle of wine... complete with party hat which doubles as a mini human hat)

Accessories (duh!) & sprinkles all in one (a pair of earrings inspired by funfetti)

As well as an invite with all the details.

I carefully packaged each one & wrapped (with sprinkle paper, obvi) & sent these off to a few friends & family.

Side note: I also asked that they record their reaction to opening the package because all this preparation brought me a weird amount of joy. I also highly recommend this plot twist.

Time to decorate! And can I just say that setting the tone with decor is a game changer! It makes it feel like a real party. Check out my Paper Fringe Skillshare class for a few easy DIYs for making colorful & fringey party decor. It's free to watch through April! No catch, no credit cards.

Can't make a run to your local party store? Here are a few things you can scrounge up at home!

Tassel Garland

Doesn't everyone have a pile of gift bags lying around for those "just-in-case" moments & last minutes gifts? Grab the crumpled up tissue hiding in the bottom, iron it out (on the lowest heat setting) & turn it into a tissue tassel garland! Instructions in my Paper Fringe Skillshare class. I've also got a quick DIY on my Instagram highlights.

No tissue? No problem! Just dig into your plastic grocery bag stash- the one you keep to use as garbage bags or dog pooper scoopers. Use the same technique (but no ironing, please!) used to make tissue tassels, but with plastic bags instead.

Pom Pom Garland

Rifle through the inevitable "drop off at Goodwill pile" or your PJ drawer & grab a few old tshirts. The more colorful, the better! Follow along with this DIY to turn them into pom poms, then string along a piece of twine and hang for instant party vibes.

OR unravel an old sweater & salvage the yarn (I talk more about that in this Skillshare class).

One last notable material: plastic bags (again!). Check out Instagram for a quick DIY.

Balloons

Yep, we're gunna get resourceful with those, too! As recycling centers are closed, our plastic bag pile is piling up. Grab an old produce bag (the one you use to buy lettuce at the grocery store), gather the opening in one hand and blow into it. Leave a bit of a tail as we'll need to tie it in a knot. Voila! Makeshift festivity.

The night of the event: Show up, dress up (or wear sweats), eat cake, HAVE A BLAST.

As friends dropped in to the virtual party, we shared stories, old photos, my sister wrote a freaking poem & I set the tone with our first game- "No C-Words!" The rules: anyone who says, "Covid" or "Corona" has to take a drink ;) The point: to forget about what's going on in the world for a couple hours & relish in time spent with loved ones. It worked!

One more notable activity: the scavenger hunt! I gave guests 3 minutes to search their room/home for items starting with each letter of my name. Points were awarded for successful completion as well as creativity. My favorite find: eyeliner for the "i" in Carli ;)

Hours went by as stories continued to fly & we laughed and laughed over silly Pictionary scribbles & our lack of knowledge of current pop culture as we played games on the Houseparty app. More wine was poured, more songs were sung & overall it was probably one of the best birthdays I've had in awhile.

I'd love to hear how YOU'RE celebrating life's milestones right now. Fill me in via the comments below or tag me on Instagram to show off your stunning party decor.